Dispatches from the Front

Christmas Vacation Day #14 (I think. I’ve kind of lost track of time.):

Number of Star Wars III  viewings: 4

Number of mock battles waged with pretend light sabers: 1,017

Number of times someone (Charlie) has been legitimately injured by a pretend light saber: 3

Number of sandwiches chewed into the shape of light sabers: 5

Number of hours Henry has spent explaining Lego Star Wars mini figures to me: 12

Number of hours I was actually paying attention when Henry was explaining Lego Star Wars mini figures to me: <1

Number of times I have changed a baby doll’s diaper: approximately 10

Number of times I have swaddled a baby doll in a baby doll blanket: 7

Number of times I have located a baby doll pacifier for a baby doll: 5

Number of times this has made me wish for another actual baby: 0

Number of hours spent in front of the Kindle: TOO MANY

Number of hours spent looking for the Kindle charger: 2

Number of times I have yelled, “STOP RUNNING IN THE HOUSE!”: I don’t even know, man.

Number of days when pajamas have been worn for way too long than is culturally appropriate: 14

Number of times I have wondered how long it has been since I bathed the children: 4

Number of times I have wondered what “that smell” was: 8

Number of fake Christmas tree needles on the great room floor that our vacuum has deemed impossible to suck up: THOUSANDS

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Bob was supposed to be on vacation through the weekend but received an urgent email that required him to go back to the office today. I AM SUSPICIOUS. VERY SUSPICIOUS, BOB.

How is your school break going? I haven’t heard from some of you in awhile. I’m worried.

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